I Wish I Knew I Was In The Good Ole Days Before I Left Them…
Originally Written 07/07/2019:
The title of this blog has meant so much to me recently... it's a quote from one of the best shows that's ever been on television. Name it and you win the prize! My daughters and husband will be able to name it instantly. But, it really is bringing forward the essence of what I have felt recently. Not only about my job, but also about being a parent. And we parents all know this from day one and I'll talk about that in another blog or blogs... :) but this just sums it all up.
I have gone through a great deal of change over the last month or so and it's taken me some time to want to talk about it. It's hard because I know this change was for the best but I am really sad about the way it unfolded. I still feel it deserves the honor it's due for the time and the joy it brought my life and it's taken me some time to process all the things in my head and all the love I still feel in my heart.
First things first... My job for the last 8 years gave me more joy than I ever knew a job could. I found purpose and meaning in life. Through my time there, I learned that I am capable of pushing myself to do more and go farther than I thought possible. I learned how vital it is to form relationships of meaning and trust. I developed friendships and relationships that will last with me for years. I learned more than I thought possible. I felt compassion, support, generosity. I was led by true leaders. For so many years, I gave all I had and all I was to this place I love. And I still love it. I still believe in all that place is and was and in the mission. I dedicated my life's work and put everything I believed in into my work. I gave my all to my work. I experienced some of my highest highs and my lowest lows here. I had some phenomenal wins!!! I believed and still believe I will retire from this specific workplace when I'm old and gray (but of course, I will never grow old...) but that's just how much I truly believed and was committed to this place. I believe they once again get back to the roots of who they are. I had 2-3 years of true highs in finding my passions and talents which I could not be more grateful for and this is directly attributed divine intervention and amazing leadership within the organization that I was blessed to experience. This is the 'high' I have been chasing since. I'll support that place as long as it's around.
However... in the same breath I will say the place I experienced the last 2 months of my time there was not the same place I fell in love with, which is why I said I am really sad about the way it unfolded. I was not able to leave the way I wanted to (and I am not going into that in this blog). There is a lot that has changed there, now. Some good, some terrible. I could continue on about why and what happened, but it isn't productive nor to the point of this blog. But this all brings me to my point... I wish I knew I was in the 'Good Ole Days' when I was in the 'Good Ole Days'. I wish I was able to have taken in more of the joy and capture the fun when it was good before those days were over.
I am right now experiencing this with my daughters, as I mentioned earlier. I am trying to make mental notes and take mental pictures every time I have a 'moment' with anyone in my family of times I want to remember. But - I am just now realizing... I wish I was wise enough when I started working there to have known to mentally note and appreciate the good when you're in the 'good ole days'. I'd give anything to have done that during my 8 years. To have captured all the good times - because there were an epic number of them! In "The Office", when Jim and Pam get married, she is told to take mental pictures of their wedding so they can remember what happened after it's offer... Why can we not know the lessons because we're old enough to need them? So many things were so wonderful and it's not fair to let the last 2 days or the last 2 months cloud all the good that I left the organization or they gave me taint it. I fell in love with that place the day I walked thru their doors. I am still in love with that place and there isn't a whole lot that will change it. But I said it once and it's still true... a wise man once told me "sometimes companies outgrow people and sometimes people outgrow companies" and it was just time for me to move on... for now. I still hope I am able to come back one day and bring more value to them again but this is just not our time right now.
So... I hope this is able to help someone. Don't waste your time waiting for something. Sometimes change requires you to move. You are in charge of your future! Don't be scared to take the step!
Almost a year later… I couldn’t be happier I did… - Aubs